I
Johnathon had harboured regret for too long, it burrowed too deeply to be excised now. It was a shadow, part of him — his personal pet demon. There was never a quiver of blame aired after the accident, but guilt seeks punishment. And when it is not forthcoming, people are more than capable of punishing themselves from within.
It was peculiar being back in the neighbourhood of his family — the same street, same sidewalk where Jonathon often revisited in his mind over the last fourteen years, and nothing looked familiar.
The local thoroughfare carried the same essentials. A newsagent and post office, mini-mart, and drycleaner. The gentrified rebrand expanded and imbued colour and flair. There was now a florist and indoor plant shop, patisserie, an impressionist art gallery called Cicada, a Turkish delicatessen, and three coffee houses, which changed facades like the seasons. Claudia, Daniel, and his newly engaged fiancé arranged to meet Jonathon at Ruffino’s at 11.30 am. Jonathon was twenty minutes early so he ordered an espresso and sat on the terrace watching strangers’ faces walk by.
Jonathon’s marriage eventually fell apart for many reasons. He left everything to Claudia in the divorce, including the family home five minutes’ walk from where he was. His ex-wife remarried a banking investor— nice enough bloke according to a mutual friend. Apparently, he even traded the convertible for a four-door sedan after the wedding. And his son Daniel, who never showed a glimmer of angst or resentment, grew up mostly without him around. He was glad he wasn’t invited to the house. But the idea of a neutral space was eclipsed by the location and memories. Jonathon concluded it was yet another preordained reminder of the past.
Just past the half hour they arrived. Caught in his reverie, Jonathon was slow to stand and he knew it, which he now saw made Daniel suspicious.
‘You okay dad?’
‘Yep. Great. Just the old rugby knees playing up.’
Jonathon was nervous about meeting his son’s fiancé. In spite of his scepticism, the stories were true. Her winsome gaze set against long black hair, petal skin and an urbane poise, gracefully swollen and erect. She removed her voluptuous Jackie-O sunglass and looked at Jonathon with soft jade eyes that appeared to tacitly excuse any rumours of her, which ran loose ahead of first introductions.
Claudia hovered behind her son like a guardian angel. She had put on weight and the years ate more freely at her compulsions. Daniel looked more like Claudia’s father — tall and strong with a healthy short brown crop of hair and a woolly beard. He apologised for their tardiness, but Jonathon happily enforced parental jurisdiction and dismissed the suggestion saying it was him that was early.
‘Wonders never cease.’
‘Mum-’
‘I know honey, I know.’
Sally smiled and Jonathon was further taken aback by her understated sense of humour and carefree sensibilities.
‘Hi Claudia, how are you?’
‘Fine John.’
Jonathon managed to draw Claudia out and peck her on the cheek.
‘I’m glad you could make it dad. I want you to meet Sally my fiancé.’
Jonathon put out his hand to shake Sally’s. Instead she held him by the shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.
‘It’s great to finally meet you. Dan’s told me so much about you.’
‘Pleasure to meet you Sally. Please call me John.’
‘Actually dad, Sally’s parents asked me to call them mum and dad and mum and I
thought-’
‘The privilege is mine Sally.’
‘Thanks so much dad,’ Sally said.
‘Who wants what then?’ Claudia snapped. ‘I’m having wine. Daniel, do you want a glass?’
‘Coffee’s fine mum.’
‘Flat white then?’
‘Great.’
‘Sally? You probably want to stick to something soft.’
‘A glass of white would be great mum.’
Claudia started to walk inside to the counter.
‘Wait. Do you want anything dad?’
‘No thanks son. I’m fine with this.’
‘You sure?’
‘Actually maybe just a glass of water.’
‘I’ll get a jug,’ Claudia said already continuing on her way inside.
‘And four glasses,’ Daniel called out.
It was a game to Daniel he played with his father that always ended the same. Hoisted up under his father’s arm like a log of wood, screaming with shock and excitement at being caught despite its inevitable conclusion. The more Jonathon’s chased his son, the quicker he ran along the sidewalk.
Sally lightly traced over a jagged scar that ran down the left side of Daniel’s face and under his beard. She leaned over and gave him a playful kiss on his cheek.
Jonathon kept a confessional silence and grinned timidly. It was a snapshot in Jonathon’s mind. Daniel hurtling forward with his head turned back. His loud irrepressible chortle of excitement. Not looking at all ahead of him and where he was going. Even then there were so many choices available to Johnathon. A frigid wind blew a horror through Jonathon when he picked his son off the pavement. A pale, placid look of betrayal when his unobstructed eye met Johnathon for a fleeting moment before his son burst into hysterics from the shock and pain.
Claudia returned with the help of a young waiter, holding two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Grigio in a clear plastic wine cooler. Daniel looked up when the waiter asked who ordered the coffee. The waiter flinched because Daniel’s weak eye hadn’t caught up. The waiter tried to swallow the look as he put a frosted bottle of water in the middle of the table, and returned with four glasses.
Claudia sat and smartly filled Sally’s glass and then her own. Golden ripples from an oblique sun projected through the perspiring wine bottle and danced across the white tablecloth.
‘Okay I want a photo of the couple.’
Claudia blissfully ignored her son’s groan and daughter-in-law’s mocking face with her head buried in her handbag. She fished out a disposable camera she was in the habit of carrying everywhere with her.
‘I don’t care. One day you’ll get old and it’ll please you to torture your kids the same way.’
Seeing this perfect young, beautiful girl arm in arm with his son, Jonathon saw this was his son’s ultimate retribution.
‘Hey, I want a photo of father and son.’
Claudia handed Sally the camera.
‘Thanks mum.’
Sally excitedly started flapping her arms to motion Jonathon and Daniel to move closer together.
At the children’s hospital Jonathon instinctively played the recalcitrant disciple to doctors’ suggestive inquiries and insinuations. Claudia arrived and Jonathon unfurled what happened to her first with seething tears of contrition and disdain. The irony that the injury couldn’t possibly have been any more severe somehow made everyone infinitely more grateful their son wasn’t dead. All he received was commendation from whom he least suspected or wanted, and it was unbearable. Only Jonathon was there to see the traffic lights turn amber the instant his leg, a reflex of his footy days and desperate extension of life, stretched outward to clip his son’s ankles.
Jonathon sensed a great deception unveil itself, and suddenly felt winded and weak. He stood up to leave, lightheaded amidst Sally’s cries for him to stay and Claudia’s reprimands for him to stop being so silly. He offered some feeble excuse about work that seemed to flow naturally once he started and when he thought about what he said it wasn’t far from the truth. Only Daniel refrained from words. He knew they were no use, and instead softly smiled a silent smile at his father loping away.
